Give A Little And Receive A Whole Lot

When it comes to our kids we always do what we believe is best. What happens when you are stuck between how you want to parent and what you feel is right?

Let me set the scene. A favourite wii game and a five year old child who can't rest until he plays it, and even then he is a bundle of emotion, where tears and frustration can strike at any wrong move.

What would you do?

If he's not playing the game he is banging around the house in character -- lining up cars and having races. It is the only conversation you will get out of him, like a constant reminder of  "you haven't let me play it today Mum". These sneaky little hints pile up in your head, and yes, you really want to let him play his game but the obsession and need to play holds you back.

I want to be able to give him everything he needs and desires. I want him to be happy. So why am I not letting him have the one thing he so desperately wants.

The answer was there, it was the desperation, the need, the addiction that didn't sit well with me. Not the game, it is a good game, not the distraction, we all need a break. It was the complete control and hold it had over my son. The look in his eyes after playing it, they turn to glass, his face goes red and he can't switch off, he would completely morph into the characters. Unable to stop until it was time to sleep.

It got to the point where it was his all. His mind was so full of wanting to play that he lost being him. Where had our intelligent, funny, inquisitive son gone. Nowhere, he was still there, just hiding in a haze of a desire he so deeply wanted. 

After a discussion with his Dad we decided to pack the game away for a while, to let him break free of the hold, to let his mind rest and explore the world around him again. With that said, the 'problem' was no longer an issue, and hopefully we could all move on. 

This morning was when we were going to pack it away, but before we could go ahead with our decision, our son transformed in front of our eyes. He walked up to me and said: "Mum, can I play my school games on the iPad in the mornings and then my games in the afternoon?". I was taken aback. There was no mention of the wii game that had consumed him completely for the past few weeks. It was like he knew his fate, he knew that it was time for a break and back to the beloved iPad he went. 

But with conditions. 

Actually they were his conditions, but amazingly those conditions provided a nice balanced outcome for everyone. Educational games in the morning and free to play his other games in the afternoon. 

I look at his Dad in shock -- how could I say anything but yes to this request. His Dad asked what would be a good amount of time to be playing the iPad, and 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins in the afternoon was the agreed time. All of this coming from our son.

With a quick yes he was away learning and counting and spelling happily for the next half an hour, and he gladly finished up at the set time he had given himself. No crying, no ignoring, and best of all no meltdowns.

Did this all just happen? Did a solution just naturally occur? Was our intention heard, our intention that we want what's best for our son without him missing out on what he loves? 

Yes...Yes it did.